Grandparenting Across the Miles

Grandparenting Across the Miles
Ideas for Sharing Love, Faith and Family Traditions



Source : parentguide.com

Even long-distance grandparents can be mentors, role models, teachers, historians, spiritual leaders, safety nets, playmates and givers of unconditional love to their grandchildren.

Over the highway and through the traffic, to Grandmother's condo we go! Sure, it's a slight variation on the traditional song, but one that fits the status of many grandparents today. We watch as our children grow up, marry, move, have children or their own and perhaps move again. Grandsons and granddaughters may not be down the road or around the corner as we might wish they were.

Today's children are growing up with the Internet. If we want to remain a vital part of their world, we need to 'get with the program.'

Grandparents, too, change locations. Some sell the family home and move into a townhouse or tour the country in an RV, or settle down in a little cottage by a lake far from the city. If a grandparent and grandchild want to remain connected, they have to find creative ways to carry on their relationship across the miles. It's a bit more challenging than if they lived in the same city or neighborhood, but it can be done, and it can be done successfully, as many grandparents can attest.

Whether you are a new grandparent or a veteran, you may want to consider some of the following activities as you build your long-distance relationship with your grandsons and granddaughters. Here are some ideas, tips and suggestions for developing a lasting bond with their grandchildren whether they live across the street or across the states.

• Be a phone pal. Instead of calling your adult children and then asking to speak to the grandchildren, call the kids first! They will love it. Be ready to ask questions about their friends, interests, school and sports. Take notes so you'll know what to talk about on a follow-up call.
• Go digital We no longer have to wait for our photos to be developed, make copies and then send them through the mail. Nowadays, we can share photos as a digital file over the Internet. The kids will 'see' you almost immediately. They can do the same in return. You can also record messages and footage with a video camera or compile a memory album of special photos.
• Send a 'love package.' Everyone enjoys a surprise gift, and no one more than children. Watch for sales and stock up ahead on small items that you can mail for reasonable postage. Pack chewing gum, creative stickers, flower seeds, coloring books, valentine cards, Easter candy, puzzles and so on. A card with a couple of dollars tucked inside is also a favorite with boys and girls of all ages. No matter what it contains, a 'love package' is a terrific way to say, "I'm thinking of you, miss you and love you."
• Be an instant 'messager.' Modern kids are into IM (Instant Messaging). No child or teen can ignore an IM — especially if it's from Grandma or Grandpa. Thank heaven for the Internet. You can send an e-mail to chat with your grandchildren, regardless of the time zone. Grandparents whose grandchildren live in a foreign country find this to be one of the best 'connection' tools available. Through e-mail you can play games, share books, talk about the latest movies, discuss topics of mutual interest and give and take tips about a hobby you may share.
• Record your voice on tapeor videotape reading a beloved and familiar story, as well as a new story.
• Write a story together. This is a twist on the campfire game in which each person tells a portion of the story, leaving a dangling sentence for the next person to complete. You can do this over e-mail or via a notebook mailed back and forth with each of your portions written out in longhand.
• Give your grandchild a subscription to a children’s magazine. If you’re feeling flush, you can get yourself a subscription, too, so you will know what your grandkids are reading this month and talk about it on the phone. Or ask your grandchild to show you his or her favorite magazines the next time you visit .

If you don't have a computer, it might be a good time to ‘take the plunge’ and get online. Today's children are growing up with the Internet. If we want to remain a vital part of their world, we need to 'get with the program,' as the saying goes.

Grandparenting across the miles takes a little more effort and ingenuity than being there in person, but it's worth whatever it takes. You and your grandchildren will be the richer for it.

Source: www.family.org

Traditional Toys that Makes Great Gift

Source : parentguide.com

Shopping for gifts for children can be a lot of fun, whether you are shopping for your own child or for someone else's. It can also be rather daunting when you are faced with such a huge selection of toys to choose from. If you’re unsure of what to give and aren’t familiar with the child’s interests, there are a number of traditional toys that make great choices for most any child.

There are some traditional toys that make great gifts for children of all ages, and both girls and boys. Bubble toys and water toys are terrific selections during warmer months, while puzzles and board games are perfect for cooler times of the year. Look for traditional toys that are appropriate for the age of the child you are buying for. A toddler can put together simple puzzles with a few large pieces, while a school age child would enjoy a more complex jigsaw puzzle.

If you are looking for a gift for an infant, try traditional toys like rattles or teething toys. Many of these toys feature a variety of activities to entertain and educate babies. Older infants, between 6 and 12 months old, may like soft traditional toys that require more manipulation. Squishy fabric blocks, cuddly dolls with no loose features, and stacking rings are usually well loved toys for this age.

The best traditional toys to select for toddlers include push and pull toys and toys that encourage filling and dumping. Toddlers are just learning to walk, so toys that offer stability as they practice those first steps is usually a favorite. At this age, children also love to experiment with emptying containers. Large blocks inside a box or bin is a perfect gift choice. A few other traditional toys usually adored by toddlers are shape sorters, soft, bouncy balls, and ride on toys.

Preschoolers spend most of their playtime pretending, so traditional toys that encourage dramatic play make great gifts. Dolls and doll accessories are perfect for girls, and many preschool age boys enjoy cars or simple train sets. Toys that resemble household items, like cleaning tools or miniature hammers and screwdrivers, are also a lot of fun at this age. Crayons, coloring books, and sticker books are another fun gift for preschoolers.

Once a child starts school, their interests are becoming more focused and it is often harder to choose the right gift for a child you're not around very often. Kindergartners and first graders are still typically pleased with traditional toys like dolls or cars, but older children may prefer something more mature. Simple craft sets, model cars, and art projects are all ideas of some toys an older child may enjoy. Themed notebooks or journals with neat pens are another great educational gift for older school aged children.

When you shop for a gift for a child, especially if it's a child you don‘t know too well, it is best to look for traditional toys that have been proven over time to continuously entertain and educate children. Themed toys quickly become outdated and electronic toys consistently need new batteries, but traditional toys have been amusing children for decades and will always make great gifts.

By Gary Clay

Source: www.articletrader.com

Internet Safety for the Kids

Source : parentguide.com

There was a day when parents only had to worry about "Street Smarts". If our kids had Street Smarts we didn't have to worry. Then along came the Internet. The Internet is a wondrous tool. It exposes our children to new ideas, cultures and people. But, it also exposes them to dangers.

In addition to resting a bit easier knowing that you have educated your kids to stay safe you will have the satisfaction of being involved in this increasingly important part of their lives. In today's hustle and bustle and with computers and the Internet becoming such an important part of all of our lives, it's a journey you can take together. The Internet really is presenting parents with the opportunity for "quality time for the new millennium."

Online Safety Guidelines for Parents

1. Personal information stays personal. While this is an important rule for children it's also an important rule for parents. Giving information on your family and your children to the wrong person could be dangerous.
2. Make sure your child doesn't spend all of his or her time on the computer.
3. People, not computers, should be their best friends and companions.
4. Keep the computer in a family room, kitchen or living room, not in your child's bedroom. This way parents can monitor what is happening when the child is online. Knowing you are watching, kids are less likely to put themselves in risky situations and you can safely oversee what's going on.
5. Learn enough about computers so you can enjoy them together with your kids.
6. Watch your children when they're online and see where they go.
7. Make sure that your children feel comfortable coming to you with questions. This should apply to all situations including the computer. If your children feel they can trust you they are more likely to come to you with tough problems and questions.
8. Keep kids out of chatrooms or IRCs unless they are monitored.
9. Encourage discussions between you and your child about what they enjoy online. This way you can direct your children to safe sites that fit in with their interests and it helps our children like we want an active role in their lives.
10. Discuss these rules, get your children to agree to adhere to them, and post them near the computer as a reminder.
11. Help them find a balance between computing and other activities.
12. Remember to monitor their compliance with these rules, especially when it comes to the amount of time your children spend on the computer.
13. Get to know their "online friends" just as you get to know all of their other friends.
14. Warn them that people may not be what they seem to be. I can say I'm a 12 year old boy named Billy but I'm not. The Internet provides a cover for people to put on whatever persona's they desire. Predators often pose as children to gain our children's trust.
15. Passwords: Don't give out your passwords and change them frequently.

Excerpt from www.wiredkids.org

Tips for your Safety holiday

25 Holiday Safety Tips

To help your holiday season be accident free, here are some important safety tips for your home beginning with Christmas Trees, Lights, Toys and Visiting Precautions from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Take a moment to review them to ensure a happy and safe holiday season for your family.

Trees
· When purchasing an artificial tree, look for the label "Fire Resistant."
· When purchasing a live tree, check for freshness. A fresh tree is less of a fire hazard. A fresh tree is green, needles are hard to pull from branches and when bent between your fingers, needles do not break. The trunk butt of a fresh tree is sticky with resin, and when tapped on the ground, the tree should not lose many needles.
· When setting up a tree at home, place it away from fireplaces, radiators or portable heaters. Because heated rooms dry live trees out rapidly, be sure to keep the stand filled with water. Place the tree out of the way of traffic and do not block doorways.
· Cut a few inches off the trunk of your tree to expose the fresh wood. This allows for better water absorption and will help to keep your tree from drying out and becoming a fire hazard.
· Check all tree lights-even if you've just purchased them-before hanging them on your tree. Make sure all the bulbs work and that there are no frayed wires, broken sockets or loose connections.

Lights
· Never use electric lights on a metallic tree. The tree can become charged with electricity from faulty lights, and a person touching a branch could be electrocuted.
· Before using lights outdoors, check labels to be sure they have been certified for outdoor use. To hold lights in place, string them through hooks or insulated staples, not nails or tacks. Never pull or tug lights to remove them.
· Plug all outdoor electric decorations into circuits with ground fault circuit interrupters to avoid potential shocks.
· Turn off all lights when you go to bed or leave the house. The lights could short out and start a fire.

Decorations
· Use only non-combustible or flame-resistant materials to trim a tree. Choose tinsel or artificial icicles of plastic or nonleaded metals. Leaded materials are hazardous if ingested by children.
· Never use lighted candles on a tree or near other evergreens. Always use non-flammable holders, and place candles where they will not be knocked down.
· In homes with small children, take special care to avoid decorations that are sharp or breakable, keep trimmings with small removable parts out of the reach of children to avoid the child swallowing or inhaling small pieces, and avoid trimmings that resemble candy or food that may tempt a child to eat them.

Toy Safety
· Follow recommended age ranges on toy packages. Toys that are too advanced could be a safety hazard for younger children.
· Before buying a toy or allowing your child to play with a toy that he has received as a gift, read the instructions carefully. If the toy is appropriate for your child, show him how to use it properly.
· Be careful of holiday gift wrapping, like bags, paper, ribbons and bows. These items can pose suffocation and choking hazards to a small child.
· To prevent both burns and electrical shocks, don't give young children (under age ten) a toy that must be plugged into an electrical outlet. Instead, buy toys that are battery-operated.
· Children under age three can choke on small parts contained in toys or games. Government regulations specify that toys for children under age three cannot have parts less than 1 1/4 inches in diameter and 2 1/4 inches long.
· Children under age 8 can choke or suffocate on uninflated or broken balloons. Remove strings and ribbons from toys before giving them to young children.
· Watch for pull toys with strings that are more than 12 inches in length. They could be a strangulation hazard for babies.

Happy Visiting
· Clean up immediately after a holiday party. A toddler could rise early and choke on leftover food or come in contact with alcohol or tobacco.
· Remember that the homes you visit may not be childproofed. Keep an eye out for danger spots.
· Keep a laminated list with all of the important phone numbers you or a baby-sitter should likely need in case of an emergency. Include the police and fire department, your pediatrician and the poison control center.
· Ask your neighbor if he has a gun before sending your kids over to play. If the answer is yes, you need to make absolutely sure that all guns are stored unloaded and locked - ideally in a gun safe - with ammunition locked separately. Include the question along with other things you might normally discuss before sending your child to someone's house.

Fireplaces
· Use care with "fire salts," which produce colored flames when thrown on wood fires. They contain heavy metals that can cause intense gastrointestinal irritation and vomiting if eaten. Keep them away from children.
· Do not burn wrapping papers in the fireplace. A flash fire may result as wrappings ignite suddenly and burn intensely.

Safety Tips are provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Please have a happy and safe holiday season!

The Importance of Music for Children

The Importance of Music for Children

Experts agree that music can strengthen children's minds and serve as a fundamental skill of learning. Music develops children's sense of patterning and memory skills. Some say music "nourishes children's brains". Music stimulates brain connections and can actually make children smarter.

How to add the element of music to your child's life:

1. Play a variety of music in the background when your child is playing.
2. Encourage your child to move to the beat of music and dance with them.
3. Introduce simple instruments to your child such as a play guitar or harmonica.
4. Show your child how to make their own instruments such as simple drums and shakers.
5. Teach your child simple children's songs such as "Eensy, Weensy Spider" and "Mary Had A Little Lamb".
6. Show your child how to keep time to the beat of music through clapping and tapping.
7. Help your child make up their own songs by adding new words to familiar tunes.
8. Sing songs to and with your child.
9. Attend concerts - children's symphony concerts or community concerts in the park.
10. Enroll in children's music programs.

How to keep your child from listening to music you find inappropriate:

Monitor your children's music the same way you supervise their use of television, videos, and the Internet. It has been proven that the actual sound of music has more impact than the lyrics. One study's results showed that kids who listened to heavy-metal music, no matter what the lyrics, displayed negative attitudes and were more angry than those kids who listened to easy-listening music. We all use music for "mood management" and parents who are involved in their children's media choices have a great impact on taming its potentially destructive effects.

1. Stay involved. Listen to your child's music choices with them. If you find something objectionable, clearly explain to them in specifics why you're concerned.
2. Make sure the rules apply to everyone. Young children are often exposed to music that may not be appropriate for their ears through older siblings.
3. Share your favorite selections with your child — and make an effort to appreciate their music. Encouraging your child to explore different kinds of music is likely to benefit them in many ways. Research shows that children whose parents introduce them to, and encourage them to listen to, a variety of music do better in school.

Info. from www.parentcenter.com and www.preschoolexpress.com

Understanding Consequences

Source : parentguide.com

Don't Think JUSTICE, Think HEART CHANGE

think HEART CHANGE. This one truth can change the way you discipline your kids. Many parents think, "Because you did this, you deserve that." That kind of justice mentality doesn't usually produce the desired results.

Consequences should not be viewed as a sentence for committing a "crime," but rather as motivation to bring about heart change. Consequences are tools to get a child's attention. They are preparation for significant discussions to address heart and character issues. Here are some suggestions for planning consequences:

The younger the child, the more immediate the consequence: "Because you keep running away, now you have to ride in the stroller."

As children get older, tie consequences logically to life: "Because you're not finishing your homework assignments, you'll have to get them checked each day by me." (Lack of responsibility requires greater accountability.) "Rachel, since you didn't listen to my warning, and you continued to be wild and broke the lamp, I'm going to ask you to earn the money to replace it."(When children are unresponsive to words of correction, they need to experience the negative consequences of their actions.)

You might ask yourself, "What privilege is my child misusing?" to help determine the consequence. Tie privileges and responsibility together: "Since you are not sticking to the time limits we agreed upon, now you lose the privilege of playing on the computer for awhile." "Jim, because you left your bike out on the front lawn overnight, you're going to lose the privilege of riding it today. You know that if it gets stolen you won't have one to ride at all."

When possible, choose constructive consequences: "Because you continue to be mean to your brother, I want you to choose three ways to show kindness to him."

For more on correcting children, read chapter four in the book, "Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids."

Problem Solving and Decision Making

Source : parentguide.com

How do your children handle problems and decisions? Some children whine, complain, and have bad attitudes. However, problems and decisions make great opportunities to teach children how to face life's challenges.

Families make decisions and solve problems on a daily basis. Parents must make some decisions, and in those cases children need to learn to follow. At other times parents can involve children and teach them to make wise choices.

Developing good decision-making skills gives children the ability to define a problem, imagine consequences of various alternatives, and then choose the best solution among the options. Allowing children to solve some problems for themselves communicates honor to them. It says, "I believe in you. You have what it takes."

Sometimes parents solve problems for children to help them avoid frustration. Be careful that you don't rob your children of learning experiences. Frustration can be a great teacher and can motivate children into new areas. You then can be the counselor or coach as life teaches a valuable lesson.

Don't be too quick to solve a problem or make a decision for your kids. Involve children in the process, not just in the final product. Much of the day-to-day problem-solving and decision-making in family life can demonstrate cooperation and teamwork as parents and children work together. Cooperative decision-making teaches children valuable skills of negotiation, compromise, communication, and creating alternatives. Mutual honor is demonstrated in the midst of cooperation.

For more ways to teach honor in life, look at chapter six in the book, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids," by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Seven Steps to Better Negotiation With Your Child

Seven Steps to Better Negotiation With Your Child

You walk in and find your child playing computer games instead of cleaning his room. You asked him an hour ago to clean it. In frustration, you blow up, yelling at him to get his room cleaned up or "else." He scrambles around picking up dirty clothes and toys. You stomp off. There has got to be a better way, you think to yourself. Fortunately, there is a better way.

Yelling often gets opposite results and results in a lose/lose situation. Even if you win (get him to clean his room), you lose (feel horrible for yelling). Instead parents can try using negotiation. While, it is not a perfect tool, it will increase the cooperation desired from your child.

Negotiation is a tool that allows parents and children to make a win/win agreement. It is a learned skill and no child, that I know, is born with it. It must be modeled and reinforced by parents. But, because most parents, that I know, were children at one time or another, they were not born with it either.

Therefore, here are several steps for parents to teach negotiation to your child:

Step 1: Know what is negotiable and not negotiable ahead of time. If cleaning his room after dinner is not an acceptable time because company is coming and you need the room picked up now, state firmly but gently, why it is not acceptable to wait. If it is an acceptable time to do the chores, then be flexible and make sure you are both clear on what "after dinner" really means.

Step 2: Be open-minded. Be willing to listen and consider the other person's viewpoint. Stephen Covey, in his book the "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," suggests that you seek first to understand the other person before you ask to be understood. If your child appears grumpy and depressed take a moment to find out why. Yelling will only increase the grumps and depression, backfiring on you in moments of revenge or decreased cooperation later.

Step 3: Set a time limit. Keep the negotiation time short to prevent the discussion from getting off track. Most negotiation ends up in the blame game where there are no winners, only losers. Keep things on the specific topic and not on what happened yesterday, last month, or years ago. If you do get off track, simply steer yourself back on the right path by stating, "Let's get back to the issue of when you are to clean your room."

Step 4: Keep it private. Don't embarrass your child by negotiating in front of his friends. He will be more likely to react negatively if he thinks others are watching. Ask to talk to him in a private room or ask for the friend to go home.

Step 5: Stay calm and cool. Don't try to negotiate when feeling you are over heated, tired, or preoccupied with a hundred other things. If the situation gets too hot, suggest taking a few minutes to cool off and then resume the negotiation. Set this up as a ground rule before negotiating if you think a heated discussion is likely.

Step 6: Acknowledge the others' point of view. Even if your child is totally off base, acknowledge his feelings about the chores. Those feelings belong to him and are valid to him even if they are not to you. One way to do this is to say, "I can see how you could feel the way you do given your bad day at school." You never said it was true, just bad for him.

Step 7: Restate the final solution once it is reached. Most failures to cooperate after a negotiation is due to a misunderstanding about what EXACTLY were agreed upon. Write it in contract form if that seems necessary. Of course, negotiation may not be enough. Your child may still not pick up his room. If that happens set firm consequences for failure to cooperate. Remind him of the negotiation and, in the future, write everything down so there is no dispute on the agreement. When he fails to comply, point to the contract and state the consequence. This takes parents out of the uncomfortable judge and jury role.

Most often, children will be testing parents to see if they mean what they say as parents have failed to follow through themselves, in the past.

Source: Ron Huxley is a family therapist, author, speaker, and father of four! His ParentingToolbox.com website offers parents power tools for building a happier, healthier home. Get more info at www.parentingtoolbox.com

Conflict Resolution for Families

Conflict Resolution for Families
Communication is the Key

No matter what our age, we have all experienced conflicts. They are a natural part of life and families are no exception. Traditionally, people in conflict have reacted in a fight or flight way, avoiding or attacking conflict. Conflict resolution strategies allow us to resolve conflict in a way where everyone wins. In addition, when children use conflict resolution strategies to work out their problems, they are learning the lifelong skills of communication and problem solving.

The key to resolving conflicts in a win-win manner is good communication. Conflicts are often just misunderstandings that could be avoided with active listening and the use of I statements.

Help your child build communication skills by practicing these active listening steps:

• Maintain good eye contact
• Concentrate on what is being said
• Avoid interrupting the speaker
• Ask appropriate questions
• Summarize what was said

I statements are a respectful and effective way to communicate during a conflict by allowing the speaker to be assertive and responsible for his/her actions. There are four simple steps to the I statement:

• Show respect by using the person's name
• Say how you feel
• Tell what happened that made you feel that way
• Say what you want done

For example: "Tim, I feel frustrated when you leave dirty dishes in the sink. I would like you to put them in the dishwasher." It is important to avoid words such as always, never, every time, and all the time since they imply blame and may put the listener on the defensive.

By being good models and teaching children how to effectively communicate, we'll create peaceful homes where conflicts are solved in a calm and dignified way.

About the Author: Jan Urbanski is a Prevention Specialist for Safe and Drug Free Schools with the Pinellas County School System.

Top Ten Reasons to Hold Family Meetings

Source : parentguide.com

1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a closer family. In this very busy world, designating this time every week is one way to ensure that family members stay connected with one another. Relationships are living things, and must be nurtured. Family meetings are about nourishing our relationships with the most important people in our lives. Form the habit of connecting regularly.

2. Create family value statements and operating principles. Family meetings give you a chance to discuss what's important to you as a family and to create family value statements, which reflect your collective thoughts. Similarly, they give you a chance to talk about how you want to operate together as a family and treat one another, by developing family operating principles.

3. Share appreciations and give thanks for our many blessings. This is a way to give children and adults permission to let one another know how much they are appreciated, and to share the many things they have to be thankful for. It is far too easy to take the blessings in our lives, and our loved ones, for granted if we do not form the habit of appreciating on a regular basis.

4. Improves family communication. More and more today, family members are going in different directions and at break-neck speed. Add to this the fact that each person is unique and perceives the world in his or her own way. Miscommunication can cause hard feelings. It is crucial to never assume that what you are saying is being understood the way you intended it, or that you are understanding what others are trying to tell you. Always take the time to check perceptions. The family meeting can be a "rest area" where time is set aside to make certain that communications are clear.

5. Provide leadership experience. Everyone gets a turn at leading the family meetings. This is a great way for children to get early leadership experience. Be certain that their contributions in this regard are honored and respected. You will be building a confident future leader, who will experience the joy of positive leadership.

6. Offers an opportunity to stay current regarding upcoming commitments, activities, and events. Family meetings are wonderful opportunities to review the family calendar, clarify who needs to be where and when, as well as who will be taking responsibility for what. Once again, clear communication and joint planning can relieve the ongoing stress of busy lives.

7. Gives an avenue to celebrate each other's successes. This is most important. Family meetings should always contain a time to celebrate successes of each family member during the week. These need not be big, monumental events but can simply be every day successes. This not only creates pride and joy in daily life, but also forms the habit in each family member of looking for the positive in one another.

8. Provides time to plan family vacations, activities, and special events. This gives everyone in the family a chance to give their input into a family trip or experience, rather than the adults always doing the planning. When the whole family is involved, everyone is much more likely to enjoy the event. Investment in family activities, for each member, is often directly proportional to his or her involvement in the planning. A richer shared experience is most often the result.

9. Establish a safe, respectful environment to problem solve. By following the family's operating principles, and with open and honest communication, children will learn that problems can be discussed openly and solved respectfully together. Creating win-win solutions takes practice, for adults as well as for children and youth.

10. Have fun together. These meetings provide a great opportunity for the family to participate in fun family activities. As family members get to know one another better, share stories, laugh, and problem solve together, deeper relationships develop. Try to weave fun into every family meeting.

Copyright 2004 by CoachVille & Dan and Suzanne Bond Duplication, with attribution, permitted and encouraged.
w ww.CoachVille.com

Getting Your Child Ready for Kindergarten

Source : education.com

ParentTips:

: Ideas and Activities for Getting Your Child Ready for KindergartenParentTips: Ideas and Activities for Getting Your Child Ready for Kindergarten
success:


Read

to your child every day. Find books with simple stories, and help your child start to think about what he or she sees and hears. Talk with him about what heppens first, next and last in the story.

Play

what's that sound" and let your child try to guess where a sound comes from.
Make up characters and act out their roles. You and your child can pretend to "be" anyone!
Let your child tell you a made-up story during bath time, dinnertime or any time.
Play outside! Run, jump, play tag or hide-and-seek, or play ball.
Make things together with scissors and glue. A shoebox makes a great pretend dollhouse or car. Old socks make fun puppets. A big carboard box can be a clubhouse.

Let

your child "help" with chores by using a broom, dusting a table or sorting laundry by colors. These can be fun ways for children to learn.
Make (and play) musical instruments. Use paper towels, old pots, plastic pails, tin cans (with no sharp edges), cardboard, and anything else handy. Play along with the radio, or give a "concert."
While you're on a walk or going to the store, help your child to look around and explore. Watch the big machines at a construction site and talk about what they are doing. Let your child feel the bark of different trees. Count the different kinds of cards and talk about what makes them different.


Have regular times for meals and snacks, so that your child will grow up eating on a healthy schedule. Eat healthy foods yourself as an example for your child.
Keep an eye on your child's vision. It can be hard to tell if a young child is having trouble seeing. Watch for signs such as stumbling, squinting, or holding books too close. If you think there might be a problem, see an eye doctor.


Be clear with your child about how you expect him or her to behave: saying "please" and "thank you," holding an adult's hand when crossing the street, not talking to strangers, taking proper care of toys, sharing, etc.


Give your child chances to play, both alone and with others. Make arrangements for safe playtime with other children.
Using a doll, pretend that you and your child are taking care of a baby. Say, "Oh, the baby is crying. I think we need to change baby's diaper," and show your child what to do. Or, pretend that the two of you ar friends having coffee together. Set the table, sit down, and start a conversation. You can ask, "So, tell me something that made you laugh this week."


Play games with a jump rope. Lay it out straight on the ground and have your child pretend to "walk the tightrope" in the circus. one your child can do this, have him or her hop along the rope. Then put the rope in a circle and have your child hop into and out of it, first with both feet and then on one foot. The two of you can keep making up new tricks.
Pretend to be in a restaurant where you take turns writing down each other's orders. Also, point out the words on stop signs, billboards, cereal boxes, etc.


Help your child to become aware of sounds in letters. Play games: "What starts with 'm'?" "What ends with 't'?"


Ask your child to tell you about what he or she did today. Listen closely and be interested.

A Safe Home for Your Child

Souce :Parentadvice.com

As your child grows, check all areas of your home for any way your child could get hurt or injured.

POISON CONTROL

Keep all medicines, prescriptions, cleaning supplies, pesticides, perfumes, alcohol locked away.

Post the number of your local poison control center near your phone.

PREVENT BURNS & SCALDS

Always keep your child away from the stove and oven while hot. Keep pots and pans on the back burners and turn handles in toward the stove.

Keep hot liquids like coffee, tea or soup out of your child’s reach; never carry these liquids while holding your child.

Check the temperature of the bath water with the inside of your wrist before you put your child in it.

Keeps matches, lighters and lit candles out of your child’s reach.

Have at least one working smoke detector on every level of your home and in all sleeping areas. Test it monthly. Change the battery at least once a year.

AVOID INJURIES

Look at your home from your child’s point of view. Get on the floor and look up for anything that could be dangerous to your child.

Anticipate your child’s new skills. Put child-resistant locks on cupboards and drawers before your child can open them. Put approved safety gates at the top and bottom of the stairs before she is able to crawl. Use safety plugs in unused electrical outlets that your child can reach.

Never take your eyes off your child—even for a few seconds—when she is on any high place, such as a bed or changing table.

Keep knives and other dangerous and sharp objects out of your child’s reach.

Never leave a window fully open, even with screens in it, to prevent your child from falling out.

Keep guns and drugs out of the home or locked securely away.

PREVENT LEAD POISIONING.

Get your child tested for lead. Test your child yearly from ages 1-6.

Wash your child’s hands often. Before eating or sleeping, wash your child's hands to reduce the chance of lead dust entering her mouth. Clean your child’s toys regularly, especially those used on the floor.

Have a lead free home. Remove lead hazards from your home. Be sure there is no chipping paint on doors, windows and baseboards. Replace older windows. Clean your home after any renovation.

STAY SAFE AROUND WATER

Children age four and under can drown in just one inch of water. Never leave your child alone in or around water, including bathtubs, sinks, toilets, even for a minute.

Do not rely on bath support rings to keep your child safe in the tub. Use lid locks on toilets.

Empty buckets and basins immediately after use and store them out of your child’s reach.

PREVENT CHOKING & SUFFOCATION

Keep all plastic bags and plastic wraps out of reach—they can cause suffocation.

Keep cords for window blinds and curtains short and out of reach; babies and children can get tangled in them and strangle.

Keep toys with small parts (anything that will fit through a paper towel tube) away from a child under three.

KEEP THE INSIDE AIR CLEAN

If you smoke, try to stop. But never smoke in your home. Children who breathe in second-hand smoke have more asthma, ear infections, bronchitis, pneumonia and other illnesses.

PROTECTING YOUR FUTURE

BABY TALK

A FATHER'S IMPACT BENEFIT TO CHILDREN

Technorati Profile

This Week's Parenting Tip

Most people will agree that having an involved father has obvious benefits to children. Many of us have read newspapers and seen TV programs about the benefits of fathers taking part in raising their child by providing love, support, and guidance.

We can also agree that fathers are important because they help to teach children values. Fathers also serve as role models in their children’s lives that affect how well they relate to friends and others outside the home.

The impact of a father starts at a very young age. Even three-month old babies are able to tell the difference between their mother and father. They can differentiate the two by the way each speaks to them, holds them, and by each parent’s particular body odor.

The father can play many roles in the household. The father can be the financial backbone and/or the stay at home dad. The father can be the playmate for the children and the best friend to a spouse.

No matter what hat the father may be wearing, the impact a father can have in the household has staggering implications. Fathers are critical to the development of their sons and daughters and can influence their children in profound ways.

With the divorce rate in America at fifty percent, it is more important today for the father to have a positive impact than ever before. Children who are raised by both parents are more likely to do better in school, and are less likely to use drugs and have sex before marriage.

The influence a father can have seems to be an endless list. Research has shown that children whose fathers are involved in their schooling and academics increase the chances their child will graduate from high school and even attend college.

An involved father lowers the rates of teen violence and other problems with the law. It also is associated with positive child characteristics such as self-esteem, self-control and life skills.

Children who grow up in homes with involved fathers are more likely to take an active role in raising their own families. Fathers who recall a loving relationship with both parents provide a role model for positive parenting, healthy care giving, and a commitment to his own family.

We all want a better society and world to live in.

In order to have a better world, we first must have a better country. In order to have a better country, we must have a better state. To have a better state, we need a better city. The way to a better city is to have a better community. The steps to a better community are to have a better home.

It all starts at home, with the father leading the way.

Source: www.articletrader.com

TALKING ABOUT AUTISM

An expert’s answers on this important topic.
by Nancy Wiseman

Source : PARENTGUIDE News May 2006 (parentguidenews.com)

Q. Why is it so important to get early intervention?
A. The child who is missing the core developmental milestones for social relating, communicating and thinking is missing the building blocks for broader learning. The long-term effects can be devastating. And they go far beyond delayed speech or play skills. The mind and brain grow very rapidly during the first three years of life. This is a very critical time for developing these skills. The older a child gets, the harder it is to learn. But once you understand what core milestones a child may be missing, you know where to intervene. We have a much better understanding of how the brain works. Early on, the brain can adapt and find new pathways when the usual ones are blocked. Later on, it becomes more difficult to create these new pathways.
Studies have shown that children with autism who receive intense, early help enter their school years with higher IQs and less need for special education. Some can make remarkable progress and learn to socialize, communicate and think creatively, with none of the differences that would otherwise set them apart from their peers.

Q. So many parents rely on their pediatrician. What should a pediatrician’s role be?
A. While the role of the pediatrician is not to “diagnose” and “treat” a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder, his role is to monitor a child’s healthy development and to address concerns through the practice of routine developmental surveillance. Observation by itself is not enough, since developmental delays can be subtle and easy for the untrained eye to miss without the use of a validated screening tool. By making developmental surveillance and routine developmental screenings regular parts of office visits, the index of suspicion becomes heightened for physicians, helping them to sharpen their observations and to elicit better information about concerns from parents.
The most important way to monitor the healthy growth and development of a child is through an active partnership between parents and physicians. The pediatrician’s role is to observe, listen, screen and refer when a concern is raised. Later, after the child has been diagnosed, the pediatrician should make sure that the family is receiving the proper services, that there is follow up, that referrals for insurance are facilitated, and then ask how the family is coping and offer resources when appropriate.

Q. Tell me about your experience after your daughter was diagnosed?
A. Immediately following the diagnosis, I went into mission mode to understand the disorder and how to treat it. But I soon discovered hundreds of possible treatments and no one to help me navigate the process. I searched for the best developmental and biomedical specialists and asked them to join my daughter’s team. We developed a very comprehensive home-based program using the framework of the DIR/Floortime model, which consisted of six-eight Floortime sessions each day lasting 20-30 minutes apiece. Our program also included speech/language therapy, play therapy and occupational therapy three-four times per week, as well as many playdates with typical peer models. I enrolled Sarah in a full-time specialized school program with lots of structure and opportunities to explore and interact. Her biomedical treatment included dietary and nutritional interventions, as well as medication. Like many other children with autism, my daughter was later diagnosed with other co-morbid or overlapping disorders, including colitis, childhood bipolar, ADHD and PANDAS. My daughter has made profound progress over the years, thanks to early identification and intensive intervention.

Q. What is the most important thing you have learned from the road you have traveled?
A. Autism has changed my life in the most profound ways. Initially, it turned everything upside down and inside out. It tested me in ways that I never imagined. But my perspective and priorities changed quickly. As I embraced the diagnosis and accepted that it would change the course of my life forever, I knew this was the path in life I was meant to walk. Autism has not defined my daughter, nor has it changed her personality.

Q. What is First Signs?
A. First Signs, Inc. is a national non-profit organization dedicated to educating parents and pediatric professionals throughout the world to recognize and identify the “first signs” of developmental delays and disorders in early childhood, including autism. We focus on the critical and often overlooked aspects of development: social, emotional, communication and behavior. Our mission is to promote the best developmental outcome for every child through public awareness and education. Our goals are to improve early identification through a simple screening method, to facilitate timely referral of children to early intervention programs and to lower the age at which most children are diagnosed. It is possible to mitigate a full-blown disorder if you intervene early enough and, in some cases, children can become indistinguishable from typically-developing peers.

Q. Have your programs resulted in any change?
A. In a few short years, First Signs has helped to change policy, improve awareness and change pediatric practice in how we screen, refer and detect young children who are at risk for autism and other developmental disorders. To date, we have launched public awareness and training programs in New Jersey, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Alabama and Delaware. We have provided outreach to thousands of families and information to hundreds of thousands of individuals and organizations worldwide. First Signs has received requests to launch our program in more than 47 states and five countries.

Q. Why is there such a need for change?
A. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in six children has a developmental, behavioral or learning disability. Autism is the fastest growing developmental disorder in the U.S., affecting as many as one in 166 children. The average age of diagnosis is between 3 and 6, despite the fact that most parents feel there is something wrong by 18 months of age and are usually seeking medical assistance by 2 years. But what’s so startling is that fewer than 30 percent of primary care providers conduct regular standardized developmental screening tests and only about 18 percent of children who need early intervention services receive it.

Healthcare providers are the only professionals who have routine contact with all children prior to school entrance. They’re required by Medicaid and urged by the American Academy of Pediatrics to detect developmental and behavioral problems and refer children promptly to early intervention services. But, they lack the tools, the training and the time. Developmental screening and surveillance should be a routine part of every well visit.

Nancy Wiseman, founder and president of First Signs, Inc. and author of Could It Be Autism? A Parent’s Guide to the First Signs and Next Steps (Broadway Books), answers some important questions on the issue of autism.

TALKING ABOUT AUTISM

An expert’s answers on this important topic.
by Nancy Wiseman

Source : PARENTGUIDE News May 2006 (parentguidenews.com)

Q. Why is it so important to get early intervention?
A. The child who is missing the core developmental milestones for social relating, communicating and thinking is missing the building blocks for broader learning. The long-term effects can be devastating. And they go far beyond delayed speech or play skills. The mind and brain grow very rapidly during the first three years of life. This is a very critical time for developing these skills. The older a child gets, the harder it is to learn. But once you understand what core milestones a child may be missing, you know where to intervene. We have a much better understanding of how the brain works. Early on, the brain can adapt and find new pathways when the usual ones are blocked. Later on, it becomes more difficult to create these new pathways.
Studies have shown that children with autism who receive intense, early help enter their school years with higher IQs and less need for special education. Some can make remarkable progress and learn to socialize, communicate and think creatively, with none of the differences that would otherwise set them apart from their peers.

Q. So many parents rely on their pediatrician. What should a pediatrician’s role be?
A. While the role of the pediatrician is not to “diagnose” and “treat” a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder, his role is to monitor a child’s healthy development and to address concerns through the practice of routine developmental surveillance. Observation by itself is not enough, since developmental delays can be subtle and easy for the untrained eye to miss without the use of a validated screening tool. By making developmental surveillance and routine developmental screenings regular parts of office visits, the index of suspicion becomes heightened for physicians, helping them to sharpen their observations and to elicit better information about concerns from parents.
The most important way to monitor the healthy growth and development of a child is through an active partnership between parents and physicians. The pediatrician’s role is to observe, listen, screen and refer when a concern is raised. Later, after the child has been diagnosed, the pediatrician should make sure that the family is receiving the proper services, that there is follow up, that referrals for insurance are facilitated, and then ask how the family is coping and offer resources when appropriate.

Q. Tell me about your experience after your daughter was diagnosed?
A. Immediately following the diagnosis, I went into mission mode to understand the disorder and how to treat it. But I soon discovered hundreds of possible treatments and no one to help me navigate the process. I searched for the best developmental and biomedical specialists and asked them to join my daughter’s team. We developed a very comprehensive home-based program using the framework of the DIR/Floortime model, which consisted of six-eight Floortime sessions each day lasting 20-30 minutes apiece. Our program also included speech/language therapy, play therapy and occupational therapy three-four times per week, as well as many playdates with typical peer models. I enrolled Sarah in a full-time specialized school program with lots of structure and opportunities to explore and interact. Her biomedical treatment included dietary and nutritional interventions, as well as medication. Like many other children with autism, my daughter was later diagnosed with other co-morbid or overlapping disorders, including colitis, childhood bipolar, ADHD and PANDAS. My daughter has made profound progress over the years, thanks to early identification and intensive intervention.

Q. What is the most important thing you have learned from the road you have traveled?
A. Autism has changed my life in the most profound ways. Initially, it turned everything upside down and inside out. It tested me in ways that I never imagined. But my perspective and priorities changed quickly. As I embraced the diagnosis and accepted that it would change the course of my life forever, I knew this was the path in life I was meant to walk. Autism has not defined my daughter, nor has it changed her personality.

Q. What is First Signs?
A. First Signs, Inc. is a national non-profit organization dedicated to educating parents and pediatric professionals throughout the world to recognize and identify the “first signs” of developmental delays and disorders in early childhood, including autism. We focus on the critical and often overlooked aspects of development: social, emotional, communication and behavior. Our mission is to promote the best developmental outcome for every child through public awareness and education. Our goals are to improve early identification through a simple screening method, to facilitate timely referral of children to early intervention programs and to lower the age at which most children are diagnosed. It is possible to mitigate a full-blown disorder if you intervene early enough and, in some cases, children can become indistinguishable from typically-developing peers.

Q. Have your programs resulted in any change?
A. In a few short years, First Signs has helped to change policy, improve awareness and change pediatric practice in how we screen, refer and detect young children who are at risk for autism and other developmental disorders. To date, we have launched public awareness and training programs in New Jersey, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Alabama and Delaware. We have provided outreach to thousands of families and information to hundreds of thousands of individuals and organizations worldwide. First Signs has received requests to launch our program in more than 47 states and five countries.

Q. Why is there such a need for change?
A. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in six children has a developmental, behavioral or learning disability. Autism is the fastest growing developmental disorder in the U.S., affecting as many as one in 166 children. The average age of diagnosis is between 3 and 6, despite the fact that most parents feel there is something wrong by 18 months of age and are usually seeking medical assistance by 2 years. But what’s so startling is that fewer than 30 percent of primary care providers conduct regular standardized developmental screening tests and only about 18 percent of children who need early intervention services receive it.

Healthcare providers are the only professionals who have routine contact with all children prior to school entrance. They’re required by Medicaid and urged by the American Academy of Pediatrics to detect developmental and behavioral problems and refer children promptly to early intervention services. But, they lack the tools, the training and the time. Developmental screening and surveillance should be a routine part of every well visit.

Nancy Wiseman, founder and president of First Signs, Inc. and author of Could It Be Autism? A Parent’s Guide to the First Signs and Next Steps (Broadway Books), answers some important questions on the issue of autism.

BABY TALK

How to understand babies' needs before they can speak.
by Priscilla Dunstan

Source : PARENTGUIDE News November 2007 ( parentguidenews.com)

A s a parent, one thing you will remember for life is the first time you meet your baby. And from the moment you first hold, speak and care for your baby, you are communicating how much you love your little bundle.

Still, being a new parent is hard. You’re sleep deprived, sore, hormonal and terrified of making a mistake. You desperately want your baby to grow into a confident, well-adjusted and happy child. However, what you actually encounter with your baby doesn’t match the latest parenting books or your ideals.

My son slept for the first few days. But, when I got him home from the hospital the crying started. Though I wanted to communicate to my son that he was safe, loved and would be cared for, I was sure the message was getting lost in translation because my son cried all the time.

Because I believed his cries had meaning, I set out to try and decipher them. After a lot of trial and error— not only with my own baby, but with hundreds of others— I discovered a phonetic sound based on reflexes that was heard within a baby’s cry. This meant that parents would be able to understand whether their baby was hungry, tired, gassy, uncomfortable or in need of a burp, purely by listening to their baby’s cries. This understanding can begin the day a baby is born.

I discovered babies had a voice that could be easily understood by their parents. Following is some insight about my findings.

Neh: I’m hungry
An infant uses the sound reflex “neh” to communicate hunger. The sound is produced when the tongue is pushed up on the roof of the mouth and the sucking reflex is triggered.

Owh: I’m sleepy
An infant uses the sound reflex “owh” to communicate that he or she is tired. The sound is produced much like an audible yawn.

Heh: I have discomfort
An infant uses the sound reflex “heh” to communicate stress, discomfort or that he or she needs a fresh diaper. The sound is produced by a response to a skin reflex, such as feeling sweat or itchiness on the behind.

Eairh: I have lower gas
An infant uses the sound reflex “eairh” to communicate flatulence or an upset stomach. The sound is produced when trapped air from a belch is unable to release and travels to the stomach, where the muscles of the intestine tighten to force the air bubble out.

Eh: I need to burp
An infant uses the sound reflex “eh” to communicate that he or she needs to be burped. The sound is produced when a large bubble of trapped air gets caught in the chest and tries to release out of the mouth.

Your baby doesn’t have to be crying loudly to give clear information. In fact, pre-cry sounds may even be more informative.

Gestures, cries and facial expressions all play a roll in helping you to comprehend your baby before he or she can speak. Aside from listening for the tired word when your baby may be fatigued, notice if the infant’s movements have become jerky. This generally indicates overtiredness and that the baby needs to be coaxed off to sleep. Infants may also have their eyes half closed and an open “yawny” mouth.

When infants are hungry, they often snuffle around their mothers’ breasts and make sucking motions (some parents say like a fish).

A baby with gas most defiantly pulls up his legs and wriggles around. His face tends to get red and his tongue is flattened down in his mouth.

Babies needing to burp generally have surprised looks, and their necks tend to move slightly back.
As a baby becomes older, he starts copying parents’ sounds and gestures, which is why it’s important that parents talk and interact with their infants as much as possible.

Infants make their early attempts at words and gestures by cooing, gahing, hand sucking and squeezing their fists to gesture for a bottle. You can encourage this development by mirroring back the sound or behavior your infant makes. This can occur during you and your child’s playtime— further strengthening the bonding experience. Record what sounds and gestures your baby creates to help you decipher patterns and what your infant wants to express.

Holding your baby is also important. Holding a baby helps him feel loved and safe. The motion of rocking back and forth reminds a baby of his time in the womb, and being held up against your heart lets baby hear the familiar sound of your rhythm. Caressing their faces as they fall asleep is fantastic for babies too excited by the world to easily fall asleep.

Babies with a lot of gas need to be held upright as much as possible. This action presents a great time to communicate your willingness to always be there. Similarly, rubbing and patting their backs helps babies burp as well as comforts by emulating the rhythmic feel of the womb.

Babies love to be cuddled and look up at the faces of those who love them. As a parent, you provide baby’s first food, shelter and friend.

To start life with your parents’ smiling faces is a wonderful thing, and I believe it communicates a sturdy support system to aid facing the world. Usually when you are holding your child in your arms and smiling at him, you see your baby’s first of many smiles.

Babies continue to mimic your facial expressions and be acutely aware of your moods by the tone in your voice. Babies begin to copy your speech with “goos” and “gahs.” It’s important, therefore, to interact verbally with your baby as well as visually. Often when infants are upset, the mere sound of your calm voice talking or singing may soothe them.

Communication is not just about understanding what your baby’s cries mean— it’s also about answering those needs in a nurturing way. Interact with your baby through touch, words and facial expressions. Nobody knows your baby as well as you do, and although books, videos and friends may advise, it is ultimately you, the parent, who watches over baby every day.

Remember: You will understand baby in time. Be patient with yourself and your baby. Watch, listen and trust that your baby wants to communicate with you. After all, you are the most important person in your baby’s life.

Priscilla Dunstan is publishing two new books on infant communication that will be out in early 2008. These books further delve into the communication between parents and children and discuss sealing the parent-child bond after the toddler years. Dunstan is also currently working on a new DVD series with some of the leading pediatricians in the field, in which she is conducting research studies on child behavior and parenting styles. Dunstan is also working on improving government health systems as they relate to children, and she recently opened The Priscilla Dunstan Research Center in Sydney.

PROTECTING YOUR FUTURE

Why new parents need life insurance.
by Vikki L. Pryor

Source : PARENTGUIDE News 2003/2004 (parentguidenews.com)

Having a family is a rewarding experience that brings new financial considerations.

As a new parent, life insurance can help you plan your future and give your child lifelong security in the event that something unforeseen happens and you are no longer around to provide the support your family needs. Life insurance plays an important role in financial planning and is a starting point for building a secure and prosperous future. One of the main reasons for life insurance is to provide income replacement to your loved ones if you die. If you select a policy that builds cash value, it may provide money to help with temporary needs for emergencies.

New parents should carefully choose their beneficiary designations before or after a child’s birth, and update them as needed. By naming beneficiaries, you will ensure funds are available immediately if you die; otherwise, they may flow into the estate, which may result in delays and further expenses.
Consider the financial impact on your family after the newborn arrives:
• Are maternity/paternity benefits available from your employer?
• How will cash flow be affected if only one parent works full-time?
• How will a new baby affect household expenses?
• Can you save for the child’s future?
Life insurance can help you plan for the future and may help provide financial stability for your dependents. If you buy life insurance in your 20s or 30s, you may find that premiums are lower than they may be when you are older.
The Different Types of Life Insurance. The two basic types of life insurance are term life and whole life.
• Term life offers coverage for a specific period of time, and may be renewed without additional proof of good health. Term life is an attractive option for young families buying life insurance for the first time. Premiums are initially more affordable, though they may increase with each renewal.
• Renewable and convertible policies have features that may make premiums more costly. A renewable term life policy allows you to renew at the end of the term. The premium may increase each time you renew, but there are term products available that maintain the same premium for many years. A convertible term life policy offers the option of converting your term insurance into whole life insurance. These policies allow you to upgrade to a permanent whole life policy that builds up cash value, a feature that is not found in term life policies.
• Whole life offers permanent coverage and lifelong protection. As long as you pay the premium due, the policy will remain in force. Whole life offers cash value that increases over time, with premiums that will not increase and death benefits that will not decrease (note: loans against a policy will reduce the death benefit amount by the sum owed).

Stay in good health. Life insurance premiums can vary and several factors can influence premium rates, including the amount and type of coverage; age, gender, health and lifestyle choices; and family medical history. Premiums may be higher if you are overweight, smoke or have a medical problem, because to an insurance company, these characteristics may make you a greater risk.

Shop around before you make a decision. Before you purchase a policy, ask around for recommendations and research various companies. Look at a company’s history of paying claims, customer service standards and how easy it is to do business with them. Obtain quotes from several companies before making a final decision.

How much insurance should you obtain? The amount of insurance you need will depend on your personal circumstances. Some factors to consider are whether your spouse works, if there is another family member you provide for, if you have a mortgage and whether your combined savings (including certificates of deposit and investments) add up to less than two years of household income.

Select an affordable policy. You should select a policy that meets your needs at an affordable and competitive premium. Calculate how much cash and income your dependents will need when you die. A good way to determine the correct amount is to add up all of your current and future obligations and then subtract your assets. A quicker way to get a general idea of your needs is to multiply your salary by five. Using this formula, a person who earns $60,000 annually will need approximately $300,000 in insurance. As this will vary among individuals, an insurance company representative can review your situation to help set the correct policy amount for you.

Update your policy periodically. It is important to update your life insurance policy periodically to reflect the changes that occur at different stages of your life. This should be done with the birth of each child or whenever a new, major debt is acquired, such as the purchase of a new home.
Tell your family about your policy. Your family members must be aware of your policy and know where to find important paperwork in order to claim death benefits. Typically, to claim life insurance death benefits, a copy of the death certificate and a statement from the beneficiary is needed; however, the requirements will vary from company to company.

You will enjoy peace-of-mind knowing that you have taken steps to help provide for your new family.

Vikki L. Pryor is president and CEO of SBLI USA Mutual Life Insurance Company, Inc., a financial services company which, together with its subsidiaries, is licensed in 49 states, the District of Columbia, the U.S. Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. The company has more than $17 billion of insurance in force, $1.5 billion in assets, $120 million in surplus capital, 250 employees and over 400,000 customers.
(c)2005 SBLI USA Mutual Life Insurance Company, Inc., New York, N.Y. 10001

Inspire Your Child To Succeed

How music improves academic performance.
by Marie Castronuovo Ascolese

Source : PARENTGUIDE News September 2007 ( parentguidenews.com)

If you want your child to succeed academically, try music lessons. Scientific studies show that music education, particularly piano lessons, positively impacts math skills like pattern recognition and fractions and science skills like pitch, timbre and acoustics. Music lessons also ignite language development, physical education and creativity.

Research Says
The National Educational Longitudinal Study, directed by the United States Department of Education, has reported that music participants received more academic honors and awards than non-music students, and that the percentage of music participants receiving As and Bs was higher than the percentage of nonparticipants receiving those grades. These findings are supported by a study performed over a ten-year period by Dr. James Catterall. Catterall found that regardless of socioeconomic background, music-making students got higher marks on standardized tests, such as the SATs and reading proficiency exams, compared to those with no music involvement.

The advantages of music education extend beyond the academic arena. Students who participated in band or orchestra reported the lowest current and lifetime use of dangerous substances, including alcohol, tobacco and illicit drugs, according to the Texas Commission on Drug and Alcohol Abuse Report. Students who participated in arts programs in selected New York City elementary and middle schools show significant increases in self-esteem and thinking skills, reports the National Arts Education Research Center of New York University. And based on a study done by McGill University, self-esteem, pattern recognition, musical skill and mental representation scores improved significantly for students receiving piano instruction.

Keep in mind, however, while the benefits of music education are well-established, motivating your child to play music can be a daunting task. Music education requires commitment, and a desire to learn and improve. Parents and instructors must work together to make music lessons and practice sessions appealing and fun.

Advice from the Professionals
Find a competent piano teacher who clicks with your child. Ask what method of teaching will be used and to which professional organizations the instructor belongs. Observe a lesson and watch the interaction between your child and the instructor.

After teaching the basics, will the instructor teach your child the style of music he or she wants to play? Maria Claps, a classically trained musician and piano teacher, has her students list a few of their favorite songs. Then she teaches those songs at intervals to further stimulate the learning process. “When a student is finding a particular piece difficult or seems bored by a lesson, I suggest a song from her repertoire to keep her interested and inspired.”

Discuss and set realistic goals with the instructor. The parent’s goals should complement the instructor’s and the student should be aware of them. “Set small goals at first,” says Claps. “The beginner student should focus on improving his playing and practicing on a regular basis.”

Susan Brown, a classically trained piano instructor with an MFA from NYU/Tisch School of Music says: “My goal is to develop the complete musician. I teach my students to read the music and how to hear the difference in each note. The student’s goal is to learn what each note sounds like when it’s properly played so they can correct themselves when they’re practicing.”

Provide a good environment with proper lighting, a comfortable bench and no distractions. If you don’t have a piano and do not want to invest in one at first, a full-size keyboard with piano-weighted keys will do. The touch of the keys is important, especially to a beginner. The beginner must learn the proper fingering and feel of the piano keyboard, which is more responsive to touch than most other keyboards.

Decide whether lessons will be at your home or at the home or studio of the instructor. Some children find it too distracting to take lessons in their own home. Others would rather not waste the time it takes to travel to an instructor’s home or studio for lessons. Avoid making the child miss an activity or playtime in favor of practicing piano.

Practice sessions will also be an issue. “Practice can be ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the afternoon,” says Claps. “It does not have to be done in one 20 or 30 minute session. However, the student needs to practice on an almost daily basis— five out of seven days need to be practice days. The goal is to focus on one piece and try to improve it, not just learn the song.”

To get your child to practice, Brown encourages the use of rewards. “The purpose is to get the child to love music and to feel great about their accomplishment and abilities,” she says. “It’s all about building confidence and self-esteem.”

Most importantly, parents should positively reinforce their child’s lessons by actively participating in practice sessions. Enthusiasm for the experience goes a long way to encourage a child’s participation. Listen to children play and talk to them about what they’ve learned. “I always ask my students how they feel about the piece they’re playing,” says Brown. “It’s important the child understands that through their music they’re creating emotions and feelings. This will help them develop their own style of playing and find a way to make each piece their own.”

Another tool in positive reinforcement is the recital. “Recitals are huge motivational tools,” says Claps. “Students are very excited to play for their family and friends and they look forward to dressing up and feeling professional.”

Brown agrees. “Recitals help students realize their progress and build confidence in their musical skills and creativity.” Remember to discuss recitals with a potential instructor because not all instructors hold them.

There are various methods of teaching piano. Regardless of which method your instructor uses, Brown and Claps agree that students must learn to read the music and to properly position their fingers on the keyboard. “Students who play by ear without learning to read the music are only fingering certain songs,” says Brown. “They are not learning the notes or interpreting the music.” Unlike compositions for other instruments, piano music uses both bass and treble clef. “The piano student should learn to read the notes on the staff and learn the sound of each note properly played,” adds Brown. “This helps the student to improve their playing and to know when their piano is out of tune.”

What Kids Say
James O’Toole, a 5th-grade piano student, says this about taking lessons: “I’d rather take lessons in my home because going to the teacher’s house takes too long, and then my 30-minute lesson turns into an hour.”

Josh Narsu, a 3rd-grade piano student, says: “I like to play piano because I can feel myself getting better at it every time. When I finally learn how to play a well-known song, like ‘Ode to Joy,’ I feel really proud.”

How to Measure Success
“Music has a human quality,” says Brown. “It’s the musician’s emotional journey. A student who puts his own emotions and creativity into a piece of music makes it his own. That is a successful student.”

MUSIC SKILLS SOFTWARE
Programs like these can be used to motivate and challenge students to practice and achieve a higher level of understanding and reading music.
•Music Ace by Harmonic Vision: 24 engaging, self-paced lessons that reinforce music skills and an understanding of music theory.
•PianoHead by Spinapse: teaches note recognition, scales, intervals and key signatures.
•eMedia Learn to Play Piano & Keyboard Method Volume 1 by eMedia: over 300 step-by-step lessons, including interactive review and ear-training screens to reinforce new concepts and develop the musical ear.

Marie Castronuovo Ascolese is an attorney and freelance writer. She lives in New Jersey with her husband, four children and one miniature labradoodle.